Uncle Fred's Visit and Meditations on Family

This here post is inspired by a visit from my big brother. He came to Ohio for a short summer visit last week – all the way from Albuquerque, New Mexico. It was GREAT to see him though it was a shorty-short visit. I got a little bit down after the family gathering on Saturday. This happens to me after every family gathering or visit comes to an end. It’s like I get this vague sense of loss and sorrow, almost like grief and I know it’s irrational but it takes a day or two to shed those feelings.

Don’t get me wrong, I think I’m pretty lucky in the sense that family gatherings and visits are not strained or forced and we all enjoy each other’s company and the comfortable camaraderie of long-standing family ties. BUT, there is no doubt that the airtight bonds that once existed between us are much more loosely structured now. We can go for LONG stretches without a call or any communication beyond sharing photos, videos and random blurbs on Facebook or via e-mail and we rarely seem to really TALK with each other about what’s going on in our lives. We all live and lead very separate lives and we all get VERY busy and caught up in them – which, I think, is pretty common. But who would’ve thought when we were all kids that we would wind up so separated from each other – it would’ve been unthinkable to us. Just as my own kids

This last visit from Fred was a really sweet visit and it was so, so, so good to reconnect with Fred. I think we each spent some good time with him (i.e. he had time alone with Cyndi’s family, Mom and my family). And, we all got to hang out with him and each other on Saturday – minus Cyndi’s’ husband and mine, who both had to work. It was nice being all together except for the large gap caused by the absence of my sister Dee and her family. They live in Atlanta, GA and could not make the trip so it wasn’t a complete reunion of Mom and us kids.  

Anyway – I love my mom, my brother and both my sisters very, very much and I’m confident in their love for me. But when any of us finally get together and spend some “face-time” with each other – I wind up feeling the loss of those early bonds very much. It also calls to mind how fleeting the essential nature of the relationship my kids have with each other and with me and Clark is – this time is precious. All too soon they will evolve and change into independent, intelligent young adults with lives of their own. I WANT that for them. It’s what I work for, what all parents work for when they love their children. That being said, I’m sure a large dose of nostalgia will develop alongside the independence we seek to foster in our children. Looooooong sigh.

So, enough on my yen for the past and the repetition of this natural cycle in my own family, I finally put down in writing the feelings I have about the shifting nature of key family relationships. We did, indeed, enjoy our time with Fred. The kids adore him and so do I. I hope he knows how much he means to me. I hope my mom and my sisters know how much they mean to me. I can recall my feelings and memories of each of them through my childhood eyes. I can clearly recapture the sharp, overwhelming love I felt for Mom and the matter-of-fact acknowledgement of love between all of us kids so that, even in the midst of rage or exasperation with one another, it was simply understood that we loved one another. All is well peeps and I acknowledge my blessings.

I also culled some footage together from Fred’s visit and the Saturday “cookout” to create a video record of this visit – I’m quite pleased with how it turned out too! You can view it on my ColorMeKooky YouTube channel here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ie9Wrs8D2rc&feature=plcp

Cherish your family peeps – with all your might ;-)

A-Motivational Work Day...

Do you ever yearn so much for freedom that you can just TASTE it? I do. Pretty much on a daily basis. I try to remember just how lucky I am because even though I am in a corporate role (marketing services for a software company), I get to work remotely from home. That's a helluva lot more freedom that most in the corporate rat-race get.

But even without being trapped in a sea of putty-colored cubicles and sterile office-spaces, the daily grind, the red tape, the outrageous lack of communication and silos of teams working in different directions on the SAME things blah, blah, blah - well - it gets to you. At least it gets to me. I mean, what does my job do that really matters in any way? Really peeps, I'm interested. What does the corporation I work for do that has any meaningful impact on the world? My goodness, I sound like a hippie.

Just hate that putting in long hours and doing a ton of work AND the fact that it sucks up so much TIME.

I would rather be "working" on:

• Cleaning and organizing my house - getting on a sensible rotation of tasks that keep everything clean and running smoothly (currently it's neither clean nor organized and there is NO system a'tall)
• Painting the fence and all the trim on the house
• Creating my art (acrylic/canvas mostly and I haven't done one in about a YEAR - no time)
• Improving the front landscaping and maintaining it
• Learning about and BUILDING a functional raised garden to grow our own produce
• Becoming really skilled in nutrition and feeding my family tasty (keyword) plant-based meals and snacks
• Spending time daily with my kids for fun, crafts and education on a good set schedule
• Building a family website, creating shutterfly photo albums, creating and posting videos and maintaining this here blog - which I ENJOY and I feel will be so very valuable to our family if I can just do it...

The list goes on and on - these are all really important things to me - but they all take a lot of time so I do a little bit of some and only plan on the rest for now. Because doing all of the above would be a full-time job.

OK - so now I'm done venting and I gotta get back to work - I'll just keep tackling what I can and dreaming of a better way.... AND, remembering that I'm truly blessed to HAVE a job and the comforts that go with that stupid paycheck. God has me right where I'm supposed to be for now and I am OK with it.

Now I feel better - happy thoughts peeps!

God Ate His Beens

This video of LuluBELLa was taken in June at El Vaquero (awesome Americanized Mexican food for consumption, I must say). Jack has been pretty inquisitive about God and heaven lately so we had been having a lot of discussion about where (exactly) heaven IS and where is God, why can't we SEE Him and how can he be inside and all around and in heaven all at the same time. While we were eating and I was recording some other cute antics, Lulu suddenly came out with her insightsa God and you'll never guess how he got so strong. Hope you enjoy!

The video did NOT want to upload in any sort of timely fashion on this blog so here's the link to the video on YouTube - it really is funny so if you agree, please "like" it on YouTube and leave a comment!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWWX_ttjMiI&feature=plcp

Color Me Kooky Peeps - Fer Serious

OK - so I have a passionate desire to capture my present before it just slips away. I used to keep a journal WAY, WAY back in the dark ages when I was a kid and into my early 20s. That wonderful habit of writing down my experiences and thoughts, my dreams and tragedies, got dropped the minute my life picked up speed. The thing is, when I read through those old journals now, it's like reacquainting myself with a person I've long since lost touch with. I get to see myself and vividly recall things that I would never remember without those rambling entries from a previous life.

Ever since I got married and had my two gorgeous and amazing teeny-weeny's, I've had the most wonderful intentions of savouring every moment and capturing them. I even started a blog in late 2009 when Jack was 3 and Lulu was just 15 months old---AND I did three, count them, THREE whole posts. Ugh. Too busy with work, marriage, younguns and my knack for procrastination. Now my son is about to turn 6 and my baby girl just turned 4 yesterday.

What I "swore" to myself would never happen - is happening. I have no photo albums done (shameful confession for a MOM, I know) and so many really cute phases and quirks are just over and gone.
So, in a nutshell, that's why I'm starting fresh - NOW - to capture my family life, my thoughts and opinions and the love I have for my husband and kids along with the adorable junk they do so that it's out there for me (and more importantly, for them) down the road.

This new attempt stems from a recent encounter with Shutterfly. I basically stumbled onto the Shutterfly site, realized the possibilities and created my wedding album. It turned out so good and I'm so happy to finally have it (7 years of marriage and I just did the album peeps). I'm now working on a "first year" album for Jack and want to do one for Lulu too. That lead me to YouTube as well and that got me back to thinking about this whole idea and that failed blog attempt. So here I am. I got me TONS of pics, TONS of video, a YouTube account and some determination.

This site, the YouTube site, the photo albums - all of it is for me, of course, but its for my husband and my kiddies too. All three of them are stinkers and I love them very much. I'll be uploading links to videos shortly and I've posted the infamous 2009 Blog FAIL entries on a separate "2009 Blog Fail" page (link should be on right-hand nav). How's THAT for dedication?

So here's my family as they are now - Jack is turning 6 in August, Lucy just turned 4, Clark and I are just OLD and Corbin, our cool canine baby, is three.

Above and Below: Both kids are addicted to their goggles though Jack also likes the full-on snorkel gear - it's all about "equipment" doncha know ;-)

Below: First date in a LONG while, June 28, 2012 while visiting his folks in Tennessee (guess who's watching the babies - MOOWA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAA)

Below: Corbin - got him from the pound on March 24 of this year and we ADORE this dog - truly, we got a kick-ass mutt. He's a "Bagle" which is a Beagle/Basset Hound mix and we think there's a tech-o-Corgi in there  too).